THE OC: WEEK IN REVIEW 4.21.05

Ok, so what have we learned?  I am really good at making insensitive ethnic jokes but not so good at predictions.  That’s not going to stop me from trying. You’re just going to have to trust me, little brother, as we once again take another trip to California.  And what a randy place it was this past week. 

Poopernickel, “Sometimes I have to make sacrifices to keep a roof over my daughter’s head.”
Marissa, “Ew.”

I was wrong, Trey is good.  Or is he?  That last scene has me questioning.    The yo-yo continues and Trey is walking the dog. (Smuthers Brothers reference?  Anyone?)   

I’m very confused about the whole crime fighting team.  First, Trey jumped out the same police jeep that the judge deciding his case got out of moments later. Were the accused and judge working together to affect the outcome of a case?  That’s legal.  And how does the fact that the jock tried to sell Ryan drugs prove that Trey didn’t give drugs to that girl?  It seems like Trey would still be on the hook since he confessed and all.  I guess there can only be one true drug dealer in Newport and that dude pulled the sword from the stone.  I’m willing to suspend disbelief I just don’t want to have to asphyxiate myself in order for the plot to make sense.

Something I hate on a very personal level is popping up in the O.C.  I hate when significant others get jealous or needy and prevent other people from fulfilling their dreams.  The opportunities being thrown at Seth are incredible.  I can’t believe there’s even an internal debate between pursuing those opportunities and pleasing Summer.  If she was any kind of friend she would be thrilled for Seth.  Instead she’s pouty and dumb and insists on lots of attention at the expense of everything that means anything to nerds everywhere.  I wish he would take that sword she had two episodes ago and lop her head off.  But, I’m afraid she would just grow two in its place.  Head one, “Derrh.”  Head two, “Duugh.”   Make out. 

Zack is now like Buffy chasing all the vampires only his prey is any of Seth’s women.  That’s right.  It was Reed a couple weeks ago and now Summer’s leaving the party with Zack.  Zack had a little smirk on his face that told us his car wasn’t a stick shift but Summer would be changing gears the whole ride home. 

I always look for new ways to apply my book learnin’ to the O.C.  Well, a couple weeks ago I learned about a theory that suicide bombers and 9-11 hijackers partake in extreme violence because their religious fanaticism allows for no sexual outlet.  So no sex makes you evil.  If that’s the case, Seth’s big virgin friend may just become his enemy combatant.  We now know what sexually frustrated males are capable of...

…especially drunk ones.  Pop quiz:  You’ve just spent the whole day with the women you professed lust for.  You’re now drunk, in a bathrobe, and sharing a hotel room together when she decides to leave.  What color are your balls?  Kirsten is the only woman I know of that can get drunk and still remain so tense.  Here’s her chance to pay The Brows back by making him wonder only he seems rather unconcerned.  He’s too busy fighting crime (literally) to care.  I again question whether this is extreme faith in his wife or something more subconscious.      

And we know who is not sexually frustrated.  Caleb has decided to renew his concubine contract with Poopernickel.  His sudden change of heart came from remembering ‘feelings’ for her.  At his age he needs to pop a pill to get that feeling at all.  Something tells me the groveling and tears helped that Cialis to kick in, you know, when the moment’s right for you.  Nothing is hotter than the thought of a former porn-star turned gold-digger securing a roof over her daughter’s head.  Earn that mansion, bitch!   

And Ryan knows a guy with a pool house he and Marissa can use.  So everyone is getting some or losing some or selling some.  That includes Trey.  The episode ends mysteriously.   

Comments

[residualbliss]

from the TWoP recap re: Carter and Kirsten at the wine-tasting

They quickly ascertain, through giggles, that neither one of them can drive, because they're drunk on Merlust and putting the "hard-on" in "Chardonnay."

[Droct]

I whole heartedly agree with you on the Summer thing. I was really fucking pissed through that whole sequence, thinking to myself "Seth dump this bitch. You're bound for bigger and better things, and she's too jealous to let you pursue your dreams." I'm also not sure how I feel about this new turn in Zach's personality, I used to like him, I'm not sure how I feel about him now...

[residualbliss]

i'm tired of the Carter/Kiki subplot. i'm tired of of the popular-opinion-rehabilitation of marissa. i'm tired of seth, who is otherwise a great character, being given crappy subplots which require huge suspensions of reality. i'm tired of trey.

feh.

[ediblemouse (me)]

Thanks for giving credit for the TWoP write-up. I should have used that line here too but I never want to be guilty of repeating.