I honestly don’t know if this is funny or just kind of sad. Last week, in conjunction with the annual CPAC meeting, conservatives reached out to young voters with XPAC. Hosted, by Stephen Baldwin, the obese, fundamentalist of the brothers Baldwin, XPAC tried really, really hard to be hip. It failed.
“I know you don’t hear the word gnarly too much in conservative circles, but you’re gonna start hearing it in the future!”
Really, Stephen? Gnarly?
That’s so dope and fly, dude! I mean, bro!
The New Republic Account of the event makes it sound like it was organized by Poochie from the Simpsons. There were mostly adults present by the end as even Chik-Fil-A™ isn’t cool enough to keep millennials interested. However, the saddest part of the article is the description of the “rapper” that “entertained” the young folks. His name was Politik and he rapped about what most rappers on the Youtubes rap about these days, Socialism.
“The night’s “jam session” was beginning—they had moved it up from the originally scheduled time of 11:00 p.m., realizing that no one would come—but most people had already filtered out as the rapper Politik took the stage.”
And what did Politik say to those that remained,
“You can clap if you want to, it always makes me feel better,” Politik told the sparse audience.
Oh booooo-eeeey… rappers that ask crowds to clap! Rappers that ask the audience to make them feel better… that’s what the kids are into these days. High five, dude! That’s what I am talking about. I always enjoy clapping while listening to rappers. It helps me keep the beat.
The focus later returns to Stephen, now eating McDonalds. Obesity is so hot right now.
The whole story is just pathetic. Part of me wants to laugh but the other part legitimately feels bad for whoever put this together. It sounds painful. I’m sure Stephen Baldwin was happy just to get out of the house and get free fast food. And I’m sure some DC area parents were relieved their children weren’t at an imaginary rave, or whatever parents of conservative youth think their kids go to. I’m just relieved the whole event was over by 11. I wouldn’t want a waffle fries and soda hangover to ruin Sunday school.
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